6:30am
In 1885, Saul’s family of six gathers around the table for a hearty breakfast of potatoes and bacon. They’ve all been awake since sunrise, getting water from the well, collecting eggs from the chickens, and gathering their chemises and trousers from the clothes line. Saul nimbly repaired one of the wheels on the covered wagon and the Boss quickly darned a few of Saul’s woolen socks. 17-year-old Panini made soap from lye, 14-year-old OG canned tomatoes and peaches, 11-year-old Boni swept and scrubbed the floors, and 11-year-old Broosevelt kept the family’s wolfhounds entertained. The family holds hands around the table and, as they bow their heads to recite the hamotzi, Saul tickles Boni’s bare feet.
In 1985, Saul’s family of six wakes up for work and school. The alarm on the Boss’ rectangular clock radio hasn’t gone off and her eyes are closed, but she’s wide awake and can’t fall back asleep, so she rolls over to Saul’s side of the bed and, despite the stale odor, spoons him tightly and kisses his bald head. They snuggle for a few minutes, crawl out of bed, take turns urinating and using the sink, and briefly discuss who’s picking up which kid that afternoon. The Boss puts on an oversized sweater with lots of bright geometric shapes and asks if it looks okay. Saul says no but tells her he loves her. Panini wakes up to “Like a Virgin” playing on her clock radio, gets up, brushes her teeth with red-, white-, and blue-striped Aquafresh, and spends ten minutes in front of the mirror getting her perm just right. She pulls her ripped crewneck off of one shoulder, heads downstairs with her backpack slung over one arm, downs some Sunny Delight, and quickly assembles her lunch of a granola bar, a banana, and Ritz crackers. In the car, Saul and Panini listen to “Little Red Corvette,” Panini blabs about the latest boyfriend she dumped, and Saul compliments her on her efficiency. OG misses her alarm completely and is woken up by the Boss 30 minutes before school starts. She pulls her hair back tight, makes a high pony, puts on a headband, and punctures a hole in the ozone layer with a bodacious amount of hair spray. She throws on some bright orange stirrup sweatpants and Keds, rushes downstairs, drinks a glass of orange juice, throws some dry Cheerios in a bag, rushes to catch her bus, and says hi to a boy at the bus stop. The bus is crowded, so OG and the boy stand close together, laughing about their Chemistry teacher who smells like bologna. OG notices that the boy’s breath smells like orange juice and Cheerios and she wonders if he might end up being her first boyfriend. The Boss wakes up Broosevelt, who throws on some tube socks and tighty whities, and Boni, who throws on a pair of fluorescent pink leg warmers. They come downstairs, sit at the kitchen counter, eat their Cheerios, and complain about their gym teacher who is always smoking cigarettes behind the school at lunch. Broosevelt works hard to figure out the Candyland maze on the back of the cereal box and Boni uses her pastels to create an abstract drawing which will one day sell for thousands of dollars when she’s a famous artist. The Boss packs their lunches and tells Broosevelt not to trade his turkey and cheese sandwich for Garbage Pail Kids cards. “We Are the World” comes on the radio and they all start singing.
In 2025, Saul’s family of six wakes up for work and school. The alarm on the Boss’ phone hasn’t gone off and her eyes are closed, but she’s wide awake and can’t fall back asleep. Instead of kissing and cuddling her beloved Saul, she grabs her phone to check the weather, her email, and the family calendar. Eight minutes later, she’s at her sink brushing her teeth and looking at her phone when Saul gently approaches and caresses her backside. She’s too busy scrolling through Apple News and the New York Times crossword, so she shuns him and Saul brushes his teeth at his own sink. Panini wakes up at 6:45am, quickly brushes her teeth, washes her face, gets dressed, and is back in bed at 7am, right when her downtime ends. She spends exactly eight minutes on Snapchat and, at 7:08am, two minutes before she and Saul are supposed to head out the door, walks down two flights of stairs, head in her phone every step of the way. She quickly assembles her lunch of a granola bar, a banana, and Ritz crackers, and is out the door at 7:12am. She gets in the front seat and, upon checking her phone once again, is chastised by Saul for breaking the apparently-no-longer-sacred “No phones in the car” rule. She and Saul spend the rest of the car ride in silence. OG misses her first three alarms, jumps out of bed, brushes her teeth, gets dressed as quickly as she can, rushes downstairs, grabs a bagel, puts on her shoes, realizes she forgot her phone, runs back upstairs (with her shoes on) to grab it, hurries back downstairs, opens the door to leave, forgets to close the door behind her, and walks two blocks to the bus, head in her phone the entire time, unaware of the bright sun, the big sky, the clean air, the beautiful birds, the speedy squirrels, and the murderous kidnappers. She crosses the street to her bus stop, head still in her phone, unaware of the dangerous trucks, dangerous cars, dangerous bikes, and murderous electric scooters. She gets on the bus, sits down, and spends the next ten minutes buried in her phone, unaware of a cute boy with Cheerios sitting nearby (who also has his head in his phone) and the murderous, homeless, pedophilic, drug-addicted kidnapper sitting across the aisle. The Boss wakes up Boni who crawls to the bathroom on her hands and knees, brushes her teeth, gets dressed, comes downstairs, grabs her phone, sits on the couch, and checks her messages while the Boss pours her a bowl of Cheerios and milk. Boni then brings her phone to the kitchen counter where she has a few bites of cereal and spends the next ten minutes hunched over her phone sending inane GIFs to her friends. The Boss wakes up Broosevelt who gets dressed, decides not to brush his teeth, slides down the stairs on his stomach, sits on the couch, and spends the next ten minutes hunched over his phone sending inane GIFs to his friends. The Boss briefly tries to talk to Boni and Broosevelt about how they slept, their math test later that morning, and who’s picking up which kid that afternoon, but they’re unresponsive and she’s distracted by her own phone, rescheduling a Zoom call and doing other things that could for sure wait until the kids leave the house.
12pm
In 1885, Saul’s family of six returns to the cottage for their mid-day meal. Saul washes his soiled hands at the well with lye soap, takes off his worn leather boots at the door, and rests his weary body in a wooden chair at the head of the table, tired from the morning’s labor of mending the rabbit-holes in the fence and shooting his favorite steer (suffering from rinderpest) in the head. The Boss has sore arms from churning the butter and seared fingers from baking a loaf of bread on the stone hearth. The family sits down and recites the hamotzi in unison. Panini grumbles about her schoolmarm and asks why boys and girls have to be in separate classrooms. OG says she likes the schoolmarm and that she can’t wait to use the new abacus. Boni, who loves to read, asks when it will be her turn to go to school, and Broosevelt, still illiterate, sticks all five fingers through his warm, thick slice of bread. The wolfhounds sit by the fire in the hearth which keeps the family warm as they savor their meal and delay their afternoon chores of milking, sewing, and plowing.
In 1985, Saul’s family of six eats lunch at work and at school. Saul downs two hot dogs and some Pepto while he and the janitor smoke Marlboros in the parking lot and discuss the young, newly hired French teacher. He heads back to class and the room is in utter chaos when he enters: Marcus and Miles are shooting spitballs at each other, Jenny and Jaliyah are lighting a joint in the back of the room, and Hannah is touching Hector under the desk. Saul commands their attention with just a few words, all the students take their seats and open their books, and Saul Stand[s] and Deliver[s] those young minds better than they’ve ever been Jaime Escalante’d in their lives. The Boss is in her office at work, eating an egg salad sandwich on white bread while she and a couple of social workers smoke Virginia Slims and debate whom they would boff first, Bruce Springsteen or Prince. Panini is in the school parking lot with some friends, eating Ritz crackers, smoking a joint, and laughing her ass off. OG is in the corner of the school library, nibbling on a cream cheese sandwich while her friend quietly reads to her the library’s brand new copy of The Handmaid’s Tale. Boni disregards her lunch entirely and is already on the playground orchestrating a game of Spin the Bottle. Broosevelt trades his turkey and cheese sandwich for Garbage Pail Kids cards and races outside for recess. As he stands in the soccer goal while his friend lines up a penalty kick, he yells, “Kick it right at my balls!”
In 2025, Saul’s family of six eats lunch at work and at school. Saul grades mediocre, AI-generated essays alone at his desk, eats his low-calorie, non-cancer causing carrots and tomatoes, and, in order to avoid the barrage of texts he knows he’s about to get from his burned out wife and helpless kids, flips over his phone and puts it on Do Not Disturb. He heads back to class and the room is dead silent as he enters: every kid on his/her/their phone, necks craned at a 45 degree angle, faces six inches from screens, thumbs sore and pre-arthritic, human spirits crushed by social media monsters. Saul rouses them from their stupor and trudges through an unoriginal, uninspired lesson on the difference between equality and equity. The Boss is on her fourth mind-numbing Zoom call of the day. As she tries to eat her salad, clean up the yogurt that squirted on her keyboard, and contribute to a “critical” meeting with stooges from the mayor’s office about the mental health crisis afflicting Chicago’s children, particularly black and brown ones, her phone is blowing up: Panini is at lunch, frantically texting Saul and the Boss about how her Bio grade just dropped to a B, and OG is also desperately texting the Boss (she knows Saul won’t respond) about how her AP Human Geo teacher won’t give her extra time on an assignment she’s had three weeks to work on. Broosevelt eats his turkey and cheese sandwich in 30 seconds, goes out to the playground, sits on the pavement, and plays Roblox for the next 20 minutes with his 74-pound, 4’9’’, pre-pubescent, spoiled-rotten friend who just got a brand new iPhone 17 for his 12th birthday. Broosevelt knows Saul would be disappointed he’s not playing soccer at recess but he’s already on Day 200 of 99 Nights in the Forest and can’t quit now. Boni feels sick from the three cupcakes she had for lunch, borrows her friend’s phone so she can text the Boss, and realizes she doesn’t know the Boss’ number. Boni knows Saul would be disappointed she ate so many cupcakes and can’t go an entire day at school without texting mommy and daddy but she still goes to the nurse’s office. The nurse tells her to drink some water and rest for a bit. Boni looks up with tears in her eyes and gently sobs, “Can’t you just text my mom?”
5pm
In 1885, Saul’s family of six sits nervously in their covered wagon bumping down a dirt road in the dusty plains. Saul has a firm grip on the horses’ reins and stoically holds a shotgun as the wailing of Sioux tribes can be faintly heard in the distance. The wolfhounds’ ears are perked. The Boss, dressed in a tattered white bonnet, cradles OG, wrapped tightly in a deer skin blanket and suffering from pneumonia. Panini, herself with child, embraces Boni, who whimpers softly from the pain of cholera, while Broosevelt sits alone, fumbling with his filthy toes and swollen testicles. As the sun starts to set over the horizon, the family is still miles from home. They start to sing “Shenandoah” until OG stops because she is coughing up blood. A gentle, salty tear rolls down the Boss’ cheek but it tastes like fierce, sweet love. Saul steadies the horses and guides the covered wagon toward the family’s cottage, as the wailing of the great Sioux nation grows louder.
In 1985, Saul’s family of six climbs into their brown Oldsmobile station wagon with a three-person pleather bench seat in the front, a three-person pleather bench seat in the back, and a cargo area overflowing with dusty baseball gear, ratty picnic blankets, and woven folding chairs. None of the seatbelts have shoulder straps, there are no airbags, and the radio has to be manually tuned. Saul struggles with a fold-out road map, the Boss flicks cigarette ashes out the window, and Broosevelt starts crying because he can’t complete a single side of his Rubik’s Cube. The girls in the back fight over space, Boni kicks OG in the shins with her checkered Vans, OG starts crying, and Panini laughs at OG for crying and because she’s stoned. Boni is told she has to switch seats with Broosevelt and someone floats the possibility of having Broosevelt sit in the cargo area. “Hotel California” comes on the radio, everyone sings along, and they roll down the windows. Boni rests her head on Panini's lap, Panini apologizes to OG and, and OG falls asleep for a few minutes until she wakes up feeling nauseous and asks Saul to pull the car over so she can vomit. As the family stands on the side of the highway laughing and pointing at OG, Broosevelt stares at the clouds, lost in space, thinking about on which finger the Monopoly thimble would fit best.
In 2025, Saul’s family of six piles in their three-row Honda Odyssey with air bags, Bluetooth, reclining seats, and automatic sliding rear doors. Saul and the Boss argue about who gets to plug in their phone because Saul needs Waze but the Boss needs to clean out her work email. “No phones in the car,” Saul says to the Boss. She ignores him. Panini tilts her head sideways, sticks her tongue out on the side of her mouth, and shamelessly Snaps her friend. Saul hates her. OG apologizes for being on her phone but says she really needs to keep her American Sign Language streak alive. Saul pities her. Boni brought her phone but can’t use it because it only works on wi-fi, so she screams from the third row, “Why is everybody on their phones?!” Saul tells her not to yell and that he’s only using the phone for Waze, the Boss ignores her, Panini willfully disregards her, OG apologizes again, and Broosevelt, phone in hand, asks, “Is there wi-fi in the car?” The sun is out, the windows are cracked, and Taylor Swift’s “The Fate of Ophelia” comes on the radio but no one hears it so Saul turns off the music and the family drives in silence, heads down, lost in their screens.
6:30pm
In 1885, Saul’s family of six sits down at the dinner table, joins hands, and quietly recites the hamotzi to give thanks for their meal. Saul recently traded a hammer to a member of the proud Sioux nation for some buffalo meat which the Boss roasted over the fire. The children are excited for their first protein in days, as Panini, still with child, is suffering from anemia and OG is pale and malnourished. Broosevelt has been particularly sullen over the past few days and his bones ache. Boni is the only one in good spirits because she has been sneaking extra cow milk. With the okra from her garden, the Boss has made a stew which the children devour. Few words are spoken during the meal but the children are nourished by the buffalo meat and the glowing candle in the center of the table. They will fall asleep tonight with their bellies full and their family protected.
In 1985, Saul’s family of six sits down at the dinner table for a last-minute meal of Chinese take-out. Panini has food on and around her plate, and she’s still wearing her Chuck Taylor All-Stars from basketball practice because she was “too starving” to take them off. Broosevelt is struggling with his fork, and his unwashed hands are now greasy from sticking them in the lo mein. Boni has her head down on the table, too tired from swimming to even put food on her plate. OG is not yet at the table because she can’t bring herself to step away from yet another record-breaking game of Tetris. The Boss is yelling at Panini for her shoes, at Broosevelt for his hands, at Boni for her self-pity, and at OG for her pathology. Saul is enjoying his dinner, sipping his Miller Lite, and mocking everyone until they almost cry.
In 2025, Saul’s family of six sits down at the dinner table for an overpriced meal of Asian fusion delivery. Panini serves herself first, devours her plate in four minutes, and spends the rest of the meal in the bathroom on her phone. Broosevelt complains about the chicken, eats three giant egg rolls and four fortune cookies, and races back to the couch to send inane GIFs to his friends. Boni, too tired from swimming to even put food on her plate, crawls under the table with her phone and, upon being chastised for her behavior, screams, “What?! I’m not at the table!!” OG is not yet at the table because she has captured an incredible amount of territory in Paper.io. Saul and the Boss eat their dinner and discuss logistics for the next day. The Boss takes out her phone to check the family calendar and Saul berates her, “No phones at the table!” Annoyed, the Boss replies, “I’m just checking the calendar!” Flabbergasted, Saul screams, “Is nothing sacred anymore?!”
8pm
In 1885, Saul’s family of six forges five miles on foot through a snowstorm to watch a traveling minstrel show for which Saul has been saving his pennies for months. OG’s fingers are cold and Boni’s legs are tired but the family hoots and hollers as the oil lamps of the small town appear in the distance. They take their seats but Boni can’t see, so she and Saul walk to the back of the giant tent. Saul puts Boni on his shoulders, both of which are dislocated from years of plowing. After just a few minutes, Saul’s entire body aches but Boni is laughing harder than she has in years, especially since her bout with cholera. The white men with their faces painted black have sent the crowd into a rapturous frenzy. Panini, smiling for the first time in months, makes eye contact with a strapping young lad who may be the father of her unborn child. OG is deaf from her most recent untreated infection but she can feel the drum beat in her chest. The Boss squeezes Broosevelt tight as he sits on her lap, swinging his spindly legs and chewing his fingers which are bruised from his first experience with the plow. Saul’s family of six stumbles back home through the relentless blizzard, laughing the entire time about how funny the men with black faces were. Saul and the Boss make eye contact and smile, grateful their children had fun and that no one discovered they were Jewish.
In 1985, Saul’s family of six gathers around an 18-inch television after a delicious dinner of Sloppy Joe and Hi-C. Saul futzes with the antennae and eventually finds The Cosby Show on NBC. Saul reclines in his La-Z-Boy with a Miller Lite in the cup holder, the Boss sits dutifully on the carpet with a cucumber and lime Bartles & Jaymes wine cooler placed precariously next to her, and Panini grabs the best seat on the couch. OG huddles in next to her but forgot she has to go to the bathroom. When she gets up, Boni steals her seat, so OG begrudgingly squeezes on to the La-Z-Boy next to Saul and the farts. Broosevelt sits on the floor next to the Boss and spends most of the episode trying to fit the thimble Monopoly piece onto his misshapen pinky. The phone rings at some point but no one gets up to answer it. Everyone starts laughing hysterically when Theo appears in a home-made shirt his sister made for him, and the family giggles at all of Dr. Huxtable’s silliness, oblivious to the fact that Bill Cosby’s brand was not his reality. The Boss puts out a small fire caused by the electric popcorn popper, Boni starts crying after the wrestling with Broosevelt gets too rough, and Panini lobbies to watch A Different World. Saul falls asleep in his La-Z-Boy with a Miller Lite in his hand, an SBD in his pants, and a smile on his face.
In 2025, after an expensive sushi dinner and hours of coercion, Saul and the Boss finally guilt trip their four children into Family Movie Night. The Boss lies down on the couch but her middle-aged arse nearly cracks her phone, which she forgot was in her back pocket. She puts it on the ottoman before the movie starts and it lights up whenever she gets a notification. Within five minutes, she’s back on her phone, responding to a text. Saul berates her and the four children shame her but Panini can’t stop checking Snapchat and OG’s bathroom breaks are mysteriously long. After 20 minutes, attention starts to wane and Boni, who has already hit her screen time limit, demands more time on iMessage. When Saul refuses, she says, “This movie is boring. I’m going to bed.” She marches straight upstairs and does not brush her teeth. After ten more minutes of impatience and frustration, the movie is turned off, the Boss finishes the Wordle on her phone, Panini goes upstairs to bed-rot and Snapchat, OG FaceTimes her friend, and Broosevelt asks if he can watch Nuggets highlights on Saul’s phone. Saul tells him no and asks for a hug because he feels lonely.
9:30pm
In 1885, Saul’s family of six is asleep. They’ve already been down to the cold river to clean their clothes, wash their pots and pans, and bathe. It was dark by the time they returned to their cottage and the Boss lit candles so the children could prepare themselves for bed. The girls took turns brushing each other’s hair while Broosevelt played precariously with his new axe. Home-maid quilts were laid out on the wooden floor and pillows of straw were carefully arranged. Everyone crawled into bed and Saul told them the story of the first time he saw a member of the furious Sioux nation. Broosevelt and Boni were asleep by the time the story ended, and Panini and OG giggled about the boys they saw at the river. Eventually they dozed off as well, exhausted from a hard day’s work of harvesting. Saul and the Boss blew out the candles and made quick, quiet love on the floor next to the children while the wolfhounds stirred from the Sioux war cries in the distance and the pheromones in the air.
In 1985, Saul’s family of six has eaten dinner, washed the dishes, and finished their homework. Broosevelt and Boni take showers and spend the next 30 minutes running up and down the stairs, chasing each other with their towels, trying to snap each other’s butts. Towels keep falling off, tushies are fully exposed, and shrieking permeates the entire house. Broosevelt eventually snaps Boni’s butt too hard and Boni runs to the kitchen, hysterically laughing and crying. OG is also nearly in tears at the kitchen table, stressing about her Chemistry homework and complaining to the Boss about how her teacher smells like cigarettes and bologna. Panini has stretched out the 20-foot telephone cord and is sitting on the floor talking quietly to her best friend, just out of ear shot but loud enough for Saul to hear key words like “Spicoli” and “pot.” Saul does jumping jacks and push-ups, drinks his Miller Lite, and tries to distract Panini by pushing out his stomach to show her that he’s pregnant and that she’s gonna end up pregnant too if she’s not careful. The Boss smokes her Virginia Slims and listens to the news on the radio about the hole in the ozone layer, the growing AIDS crisis, and the urban crack epidemic. Hugs and kisses are exchanged and everyone goes to bed.
In 2025, Saul’s family of six has eaten dinner, washed the dishes, and finished their homework. Saul is on his phone, drafting a wildly inappropriate text to his friends. The Boss is lying on the couch with her phone, scrolling through Facebook posts about Korean skin care products. Panini is sitting at the kitchen counter, hunched over her phone, scrolling through Snapchat stories of “friends” she has literally never met. OG is on the couch in the living room, obsessively organizing the widgets on her phone for the third time this week. Broosevelt is on the floor on his phone trying to figure out how to send his friend the most moronic GIF he can find. Boni is upstairs in her bed, pajamas on, teeth brushed, head and body under the covers, surreptitiously on her phone, face two inches from the screen, desperately clinging to the “1 more minute” she has on Safari. The house is silent.
And everyone is alone.
